How to Talk to In-Laws Who Don’t Speak English

You can have a real conversation with your partner’s parents without sharing a language. It takes three things:

• your partner briefing you before the first call;
• a translation app that speaks out loud, not one you type into;
• short, clear sentences.

This guide covers the detail: what to prepare, what to talk about, how to run the call, and what translation can’t do for you.

Why this conversation is harder than it looks

Meeting a partner’s parents is nerve-racking in any language. They want to know who their child has chosen. You want them to like you.

Without a shared language, there’s a third problem. The one person who could smooth things over, your partner, gets stuck interpreting. Interpreting both sides of an emotional conversation is exhausting. Your partner also ends up editing: softening what their parents said, skipping the awkward question, rounding off your answer. Everyone talks to your partner, nobody talks to each other, and your partner leaves the call drained.

Translation that works in the conversation itself changes that. Your partner can be at the table instead of running it.

Before the first call: ask your partner for a briefing

Ten minutes of preparation does more than any app. Ask your partner:

• What should I call them? First names, “Mr.” and “Mrs.”, the family’s word for mom and dad, or a title. Many languages also have a formal and an informal “you” (usted and tú in Spanish, Sie and du in German). A translation may pick a form that sounds a little stiffer or a little more casual than you mean. Ask which one your in-laws would expect, so you know if something sounds off.
• What should I avoid? Every family has its subjects: politics, religion, money, past relationships, when you’re getting married.
• What are they worried about? Parents of someone in a cross-border relationship often worry about distance, about their child moving away, about visas, about grandchildren. Knowing the worry tells you what reassurance is worth giving.
• Who’s who? Siblings, grandparents, the family dog. Names matter.
• What should I learn to say myself? Learn hello, thank you, good night and “it’s lovely to meet you” in their language. Saying hello yourself, before any translation starts, is worth more than anything the app does.

What to talk about on the first call

Keep it short. Fifteen to twenty minutes is plenty. Ending while it’s going well beats running out of things to say.

Let them show you something. Video calls are good at show and tell, and showing needs fewer words. Ask to see the garden, the kitchen, the view from the window, or the photo wall in the hallway.

Ask about your partner as a child. Almost every parent enjoys that question, and the answers are stories rather than small talk.

Talk about food. Ask what your partner loved to eat growing up. Ask for a recipe. Promise to cook it, then cook it and send a photo.

Have a few things ready about yourself:

• your work, in one sentence;
• your family;
• how you and your partner met (agree on the version first).

Skip the jokes that depend on wordplay or sarcasm. They rarely survive translation. Warmth does.

How to speak so the translation works

Real-time translation works one sentence at a time. VivaLingua, for example, waits for you to finish a sentence and pause. The other person hears it in their language about 2 to 3 seconds later, with captions on screen at the same moment. A few habits make that smooth:

• One idea per sentence, then pause. Long, winding sentences produce long, winding translations.
• Use names instead of pronouns when it matters. “Ana’s flight lands on Friday” translates better than “her flight lands then”.
• Leave out idioms and slang. “We’re over the moon” can arrive word for word.
• Say numbers, dates and times plainly. For anything that matters, like a flight time or an address, send it in writing afterwards too.
• Take turns. No translation can untangle two people talking at once. Family calls where everyone speaks together are the hardest case. Agree that one person speaks at a time, or let your partner gently keep order.
• Let the translation land. The 2 to 3 seconds feel long at first. Smile, nod, and wait for it before you answer.
• When something comes out wrong, rephrase it. Say “I think that came out wrong. What I meant was…” and try a simpler sentence. Repeating it louder doesn’t help.

Let your partner off interpreter duty

Your partner should be on the call, but as a participant. Agree on a rule beforehand: they step in only when something has clearly gone wrong, or to explain a joke.

Afterwards, ask them what landed, what sounded odd, and what their parents said about the call later. You’ll learn more about the family from that conversation than from the call itself.

What translation can’t do for you

Be clear-eyed about the limits.

• It translates words, not family expectations. Whether to use first names, whether to mention the wedding, whether to offer to pay for dinner: that’s for your partner to explain, not an app.
• It flattens tone. Teasing, warmth and formality don’t always survive. Languages with several levels of politeness, such as Korean, Japanese and Thai, are where a translation is most likely to sound a little too formal or a little too familiar.
• It doesn’t replace a few words of your own. “Thank you” said in their language, badly pronounced, is noticed and remembered.

If one of your in-laws is hard of hearing, captions help. Turn up the translated audio, and the caption is there at the same moment.

Making it a habit

One great first call matters less than a regular one. A short call every week or two, at a time that suits their day, builds more familiarity than an occasional marathon.

Between calls, send photos and short messages. Typed translation in chat apps is fine for a birthday wish or a photo caption. When you finally visit, speak to them face to face. A translation app for in-person conversations works across the dinner table too.

Using VivaLingua for calls with your in-laws

VivaLingua is built for exactly this kind of call:

• Nothing to install for them. You host. Your in-laws open a link you send by WhatsApp, text or email, in whatever browser is already on their phone. They don’t need an account: they wait with you in the waiting room, turn on “Available to talk now”, and you tap “Start call”. A video call takes one guest this way, so for a call with both parents, they sit together at one phone or tablet.
• Everyone uses their own language. You speak English, they speak theirs, and each of you hears the other spoken aloud in your own language, with captions. It works across 41 languages.
• Only you pay. You buy prepaid minutes, with no subscription. Your in-laws join free, every time.
• When you visit, in-person mode works across the table. In person, you can let in more than one person, so each parent can join on their own phone.

AI Voice is optional, and it suits in-law calls well. You record a short sample once. From then on, the people you talk to hear your translated words in a voice that sounds like you, instead of a standard voice, with an “AI Voice” label on screen. It’s included at no extra cost.

It isn’t offered everywhere:

• Where: not in China, Malaysia or South Korea, in countries under comprehensive US sanctions, or in Illinois, Texas, Washington or Colorado.
• Languages: people listening in Bengali, Gujarati, Hebrew, Kannada, Marathi, Serbian, Thai, Traditional Chinese or Urdu hear a standard voice.

New accounts get 60 promotional minutes, which is enough for a first call and a second one. Get VivaLingua and send your in-laws the link.